Bad Moms 3: Peeing yourself and co-sleeping

Friday, September 29th

Do ALL moms pee themselves a little? Say yes! Also, kids in the front seat of the all those useful parenting tips from Annette on the Net and Tpot.

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

And until another episode of the fat moms got cats that he got and I'm and then on the next. So we're just gonna jump right into it. Can I tell you something what you know that picture of you to be used to disband mums yes yes he looked great in the picture first okay. It's hard new Boston's big bus. He came by today and looked in my children computer and use unless that doesn't batons and we're proud of it should really just being silly and yes you know. I don't think maybe a little faster mounting not to show that much cleavage. Usually does and you. Yeah he assumes no I don't know my oh my god and then I set up well you know she's been my. They and he has just you know you'd be wondering how different are these are great and I don't know he's kidding or not so I just said let me just getting divorced yeah but but but that's temporary work. However AM yeah. I'll play gas now I have known not to do that the office. Yeah sure thing given pretty high tone of the office lately you know what's weird yeah it's my new little row obsession. It's been a really have like meat ax always got your belly button like I like he got him. Yeah that Clinton's idea I don't actually get it takes you step to the Taylor and the like. Say this summer includes pop out. Thank you don't gamble or. Come so I just you led tubes ready and they don't you know yet right down here. Tell you just came back from the bathroom and you've gotten it really is and I felt that would because I thought of this and even though this isn't really had anything to do kids but it's because of kids. I wanted to talk about stress incontinence. And this is not talk big plagued him you don't try to say total deeper is it just doesn't happen some of the Ari so I have had latest sign this thing for the past couple months yeah. Or whatever they end. For a while until it like to have done my chest I was copping a whole life and I have this really bad cop in that one weekend. And I really put it every. And good call thing they got out of hand in hand I would lake view yes. Well I text my best friend who lives in Texas she's a nurse and I'm like dude what's going on and you know I've only had two kids. Like this unit you know I because I have friends who had like four or five kids that whatever and then I. In Athens. It's not. Yeah well and so I'm like what's happening is she's like expressing confidence it basically just because you know she's a dear to eagle and I'm likely yes okay. Thumb but is that like every. So I had two kids get one pregnancy they were twins yet and the other day I had that same kind of funk and sending copying. And the other day I was squatted down in front of that and refrigerator as clean in the bottom of it or get in some at the bottom juror was vegetables and why be done their bit anyway. And then I was and I cost ninety till the booklets apps. Here they day one and I don't miss it can. And then they have their day. That I was in the back it was a had to pee and I knew it could help I can't bend it like. I should no matter rest poly drug groggy and has rocketed back him and I coughed and Satan be millions and up well I antimatter. Not that. Yeah. I don't know if this happens to women who've never had kids or this is something for women who have had kids like beat you don't know because. We've had so much like pressure and and weight on our yet ladder it's the kids that just appears before he had kids. No holy when you're really drunk and let me. All OK once I got food poisoning. And once when I was like total which now it's those kids well gaffe just like everything else that learns life yeah adding to watch will and grace last night. I'm neither of them kids yet exactly bedtime is trying to show comes on that's ridiculous. How you and you know what's funny is that. I remember when it so when I had Matty like everything was great you know whatever and then even after I had her I had no problems with like stress incontinence or any sort of encounter you junk because I'll find out so I was off I'd say which it should have been because she was diet and I push for two and a half hours K okay now. This second I'm not kidding you met the second I got pregnant with Chloe I was like pregnant for five minutes and literally asks me is a laugh. Whenever I'd be sitting there and I'd like. I don't like the there but surely it. And I went to the de Ville when I went to my doctor you know the for the confirmed to C I was like. He. Did she did you know plague the way. I hear Blatter and your Blatter is already you know. It's already stressed because of you having a baby the first time an outlet. I sometimes have like a random stomach pain and I think it's just those kids messing everything in some I'm Bonnie. I have with it not been able to eat the same way that I ate before clothing. They have is the right up all the time play the entire time as regular clothing gear promising yes like I care about you but not okay no I get I get all the time. And so basically the way we are not as hot when I remember that's just how she's I don't know do you even remember me Tom bay did pretty loosely had a baby how long it was a ha kind of gap and a senior nipple yeah. I mean so that ruined my. I. It sounds good so we were talking about I don't actually remember comedian and a. I don't let. Don't know little about peace and ourselves are eager to get back to even now who can't ever who cares okay so now the actual topic of being a bad knob. Let my kids fell out of the front seat at carpool. This week. A basis that is that bad that she's the front seat eighth. Is it a couple line. And I just haven't we get a couple of them buckled a climber on the car. And and that's their time it helps them get out to go to school excited yes. That's abnormal eye OK good I'm glad to know that no like two miles an hour not even we're stops. With everybody. Lined up there early enough which is rare. Debt like before they openly gay and like raw to stacked up in the carpool line yeah. Obviously in the carpool line such you know me like I'm just part they're right approach we took kids just for fun I think. Just I started to because I get so annoyed with people walk drive and around. I'm trying to be respectful so if anyone happen to see live down that street they get deck. And my kids instead it's a mom don't say. Today. That's a big angry people and a couple line up for redden really late and someone does something stupid to even later. So the kids think I should. Com and I as. Well yeah and you know I think my kids definitely understand Blake my temper whenever I'm in the car because when I got that taken on Mother's Day do you remember. Now we'll going remembered eating he's clearly she sorry I was going to celebrate Mother's Day with Stevie and his family bond and his sister's house in May in the bill. ON YU wanna 'cause. Yeah for ten mile light display embrace tagged spot hurt the company did not player. And I got stuck by this top plate and I mean break their byways and goes up so it's at the end of the bridge you know there. And so he was like you know 'cause it's Mother's Day I'm not gonna give you a ticket for this three year expired break tag. And I was like thanks Melissa two years yes. It's like digging my life to place that really honest I didn't lose I did not do you think it may be did win never right. Three years I think that's pretty remarkable. Several but the license plate was hoping that you know because that was expire for lady here can I. On the Abbott is all but today now okay which I do enjoy driving past police being like. Yeah. You know I got the black watch out. That's why railroad my window down when I scream but I didn't keep it up so that you don't think I'm actually playing in front I get an true. A want to watch it lady right there so I. I'm getting this ticket and we pull up net he goes wait. You take the massive yes I got to take it and just you score him. Thinks he should not gotten to be he should've left it up with a warning screech. You screaming women you got a ticket and I are actually I'd let you understand that. And she. OK okay yeah she gets it but then had to be all like Alan Matty I wouldn't scream at a top anyway that's like really inappropriate that a little late. My kids started telling police officer cops I don't know Lara I swear I couldn't have possibly said to them cops because I'm an unease very mindful to let them know that police are here to help us. You know and I never want and he scared of the police I never local copy could. I. That right because my sister's best friend. And just me and my sister and her best friend hang out on Saturdays or whatever and they were over a couple Saturdays ago and her dad didn't talk to. And her brother was and haven't she actually works for Aaron Jefferson Parish police department somewhere in there and the office or whatever and yet they get to a man and got it okay diet yet. And so she would like what she heavily brought beer when me and my sister were drinking like wine and stuck him. Catholics usually beer that she's played dude daughter of a cop that was like about OK it's not weird that I don't like cops I looked at a cap. She all the French cheese is top all the time when referring to her that or her brother who kicks it means. Mr. speckled it is just like yeah the Pope I'll announce mom I did say Pablo is well. Yeah well all fell I'm in the market for any cops who might be single dish filled I didn't know that. Then I deal likely is not Nomar and works here now yeah. He speak up can you tell me that radio was like kind of weird for him he's just get used to it's a little harder anyway or something like that it was hard like as a present fighting crime right. Yeah. I stock im a little. It can't you know. I asked him Monday outlets like pain you'll play your only way that little rest there are when they're on the radio couldn't think this blue. Police and asked is it like a bullet proof now it's at least ten and it's got regular little shield. Pat on the phone he was like where does the studio as cold and I was like what you stick with me I can show you where the keys to the air conditioning boxes are. She had their son I don't know what that means there's that he speaks. And he made it sound pretty light yet like second helping elect and zesty defense. OK you like to make a warmer I know are all keys to the boxes aren't. A lot of proof after what I. Knows the words flare ever he combat by lady. If it. Accordingly it is walking around with a blank and slippery line also teach yourself. Show up but you know who's calling balance my mom she's not a cruise. You. No she's what is FaceBook audio band. She is I guess she got the Internet package says she can post on FaceBook. You know how important is what gets a man mountain yet. Missionary at your mom's all cheetah print she's the best bad momma ever. Oh my god she really is like she really talk about cleavage yeah she's it's amazing to show the present not her husband yeah. And she's been posting pictures and videos that he and the in latest sued or whatever it's very nice time yes she's exciting but only to get to our regret moms out there I'll pathetic pleading. Yeah you know it's best to do that by here. That. Stupid liberal and because everyone sleeps in my bed both kids all the got low enough. No no kids. Eight last night in my bed late I don't feel like they have asked me Martin that it will ask all Sheila and I didn't you drink she's so perfect. Should be like nicely reviewed and I don't like yeah this. Set up those columns and her husband sleepy no that's on the other side so I can't I don't sleep that wild mom but because of the co sleeping. I have a problem because Chloe loves let's stick. Okay and not only the issue of lipstick she loves her lipstick and and so she won't get in my bed with a mouthful of I just hit my microphone she'll get in my bed with a mouthful of red lipstick and so basically. My bet it looks like it. I thousand boys have been sleeping. A and then analyzed I real. My bet you still look when I wouldn't wake up from going out when I was like twenty to hook but you don't before you realize it sure to wash off your make glitter I don't watch tuchman make up now you know that and I'm tired and tired what is wrong with. Just big and they're net know he always have to you know like that does kits that in their own beds. Ankiel and then when they wake up they dynamite that the best and renovating public yeah. That and I and I laid out in their beds and go to sleep so I closely to get their bed face suckers. That and then by then I'm so tired as I sit at their room to be like a relaxing spots sleep tranquility. I. I've got it. Yes there's. Us for special colored. And he'd he'd like nightlife with. As seen and like we use a special role on oil extraction make it more is sleepy voice if you sleep Beasley buys uttered at. And then more and then their beds have extra patty non man. Look at the last count sheets and finally and understands blowing it's nice and cool. They're mad he has this like blamed him that's like Fuzzy and really soft. And you know what she does women set of sleeping in her own bed just comes and brings them mad and please he's the blanket Lester. Yeah might at least sleep because sleep my husband on gun my husband sleeps and hold other now and I told me he had just moved back because they started calling daddy's room. Oh yeah. That's a good outlook listen honey I'll be honest with you I don't mind because you know classic he's taxi can be done which he has. And then I'll have to deal with facts and then I can go to bed you know and he knows better earlier than idyllic falsely so that I can watch Netflix later. And no I'm not feel guilty about the TR I really kind of like having separate that is true. So race I just OK silly Chloe was born and she was a nightmare. And I would have to hold her job you know and so it's like you can't hold the baby while your dog tired and asleep in a bed. So I would literally lake prop myself up sitting on the couch all night with her on my chest and me holding her. And so that was how I slept for the bow really lied time after she was born probably maybe prayer five or six months then. I'm just she just hated going to sleep did nothing has changed but anyway. So I've come so after she was able to go back in her crib. I still slept on the sofa because our match. The matches that I had that I bought from them barefoot dude in a warehouse yeah. Because I haven't I don't mattresses from the whereas now because I don't know the people naturally heated. Drain so brittle and I was sleeping on the couch. And then when we got that new Mac transfer mattress firm action at the right how are yeah ray had we got a new mattress from actors are. And that's on estimates even met in the bed but before that. It was. Chloe or daddy would just be like this. That cat took money while she was going to bed it no more. I didn't want my money legally captain I watch that I got any extra quiet like us. I think you tell everybody I'm on how. A shot policy but the catch the kids nom drunk because I'm on holiday mentality black cat and that's good at all. I I have a whole case so that my friend Wendy was over at the house and she brought a weird and so means she got a bunch of like Darius lookers for us to drink technical PS data when action and and she brought this like water bottle like one of the decision to me is the water bottles the purple one. Full of vodcast yes and so is still in my fridge and the kids indicators of this water. I water. I had just like Kryptonite in the baton back. But well I shall we because I have a debt Bristol sitting in my freezer at B thank you do that one well I'm not worried about that I'm worried about it would if they think is a slushy. They should learn the logo for Decker is yes I'm glad to tell them what I mean luckily they don't let the freezing yet because you know what are they gonna do thoughts and eat. You know I don't buy ice cream and yet there's no eye strain in a popsicle no frozen treats. Inning going in there. Yes they're not gonna there I don't know many on the way. But get no money but yet you have a giant screen that he had to save I didn't I had her but this does best friend bought it is my sister fake us out and shoot right I'm coming out bring factories and like. And so yeah I guess. Bear bad moms. Have a yeah America sleeps with me though like she'd like when she does Japanese and co sleeping it's like yeah. Not little low all night but then I mean Sarah not only that's not healthy reddish and chronic cozy up to my daughter. I know yet if they're not in my bed I totally missed them and that can't make I'm just like works closely. It's reignite 'cause I used to think like I wanna sleep all alone you know when my husband is investigate and then bacon and a little it's kinda. And my husband and I just don't do it I guess and yeah. 50 Chloe. She's not a Cutler as much like she's a skin suit but if I swear that I ourselves that we're just sitting around and she's already like had enough of scuttling should relay now. Stat touching me you know there's like OK I'm and that the bet that I had a great effort mattress firm. Is it it'll adjustable. That they fancy a malignant Betsy on the Buchanan and if the dole adjustable came so late the mattresses their separate you know and so. The windshield you feel 100 do you feel the difference in the middle helium and looking you feel the two door and it was like a divide. So yeah you kind of can't. OK but it's like essentially these mainly there cat when she does not she called it the whole thing. And I'm not kidding ever since we've gotten mattress this child is loved the sleeping in the hole. Love which it's not no like normally they're together they don't move but somehow she wedges her little body in between the matches is. And then lakes squirm. And it. It moves the others the other match and yet I was like yeah I'll let there. And so she'd like gets in there and she sleeps. And she's got her Winnie The Who can she sleeps until she uses and the pillow. And she like put them aside and that's how she sleep she sleeps in the whole beyond so actually sounds like you kind of a nice mom yeah. I ask you a wedge between the good thing though miles it's funny though she's not gonna fall through because of that. I am that's the matches partner plunged under that is the adjustable base and that's court raising heavy there is no getting through that took. There's like if any they fall like in between them really small crack that's there. I'm just like I can't crawl under the bed you can't even like move it to reach your hand between into the super duper having what are the odds shall be stuck in the middle lawyer Justine and you crack Boehner something. I don't know I don't I just and first it just really slow go. Like it's really slow. So if you're like out out out out out yeah okay and they like IRA and then press that you know flat so excited to play call goes with it is. Bad for watching your iPad. Because like you could just have a settings I have an iPad settings so I press number two or what. Case I to steal my and I had from my children if I want to use an iPad because I don't know Thailand. You know I have to air ipads let's say yeah his name didn't love me she loves that the movement but I don't really good bye week parents any last podcast was a public never gives gives back to what do you it would Kim as funny whenever. But apparently I got in trouble is because I don't know did you see some on the radio something about not beat in the kids' results like what she's. He's like who's that gets my mother had not heard about it and road and he was like you know you can't be joking about that stuff goes like a it's just. Pick and they did you see bastards like Jack also what was not a good drink. All right actually anything about that always hasn't had a bath. Well let's say you know she would seabees are on Wednesday to (%expletive) about that. You sure he's made it what it takes a marveled oh also she loves taking about it TDs house for some odd reason I guess it's like different scenery such very excited about it so now she's getting more bats because she wants to take when a GG house because I guess the bath toys over their more fun in the bath toys at home. No and a bath toys STV's house are much more. The fighting that in bath toys at my house are not toys are now just what ever toys they dragon there in his lungs is not battery art I'm like fine yes. I mean now let's just barbies I end but Stevie took her to Wal-Mart. And let her go and pick out and nice new assortment of bath toys now all of the irony is let's get to have a divorce Stanley great kid she didn't have any over there all of our batteries weren't moments doesn't bring enough yet divorced guilt yeah and so he took it won't violate one angle forgo what is apartment and got her new best choice and ashes like. Take a bet and dad happens from like Frye and. Off subject but with us. I'm not seeing you as usual yes and flirty girl posted it and have pictures or any story this week medics said am one of the teachers was a cup Tennessee congrats and your divorce we hated him. Just a study I'm not say that applies to Stevie just not there really funny mud. See you couldn't get me that because you love like Stevie yeah I'm teens DD yeah I know relay team Stevie and he's right and he drove not having to be like. Really want. That's and I am a great bills that and that's office to pick. Up that he's not there am I getting up. So let's wrap this up. You add soy bean bags mom's hot cats and join us next week when we talk about what Everett does that figure rather we're gonna talk about. And remember her but not doing their rounds here Lara I. I don't know if you like to think we're out of time. No wait we're not parenting badly. About is is you are OK so remember we cannot do it around he'll lie. Teapot with our slogan to clean and run. Thanks them.