Bad Moms 8: Lady parts and boozy play dates

Thursday, March 29th

What happened at Tpot's doctor's visit, 5 year old margarita drinker, and why play dates are so awesome!

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

And soon would it out the bat pop podcast I was about to be like. Also the not very good DJ podcast apparently to like let. Yeah I was just telling a friend last night that I can throw all the buttons because I wrote this is like. Backstage radio stuff I wrote sweepers hurt me and speedy showed the afternoon or is that we're content. After new and yet I don't like the honeymooners but you know it's like the F I owners would get that I've not. 79 years old well okay and the reason why I thought it was just because I was thinking about new winners. Yeah that. So it's like aperture. New owners. Yet and yet it yes so. Right sleepers for our nation out and I said that on B ninety. Oh yeah that's where I have been decent and it and so I'm one of the sweepers was teapot is in control of this or something and that's really scary. Or something like that that actually is a great point yeah yeah. I don't know qualified yes well I saw last night and so he's like wait a minute you press all the buttons and I would like to. Layup I. I am dead. Narcotic when do you have time to do all your online shopping and catch up with light just Jared dot com staff. Well I catch up with all my gossip blogs like all Delon literally. All day long. I'm on a gossip blog. Constantly and I have apps on my phone. And I shot mostly at night and in the very early morning hours like 5 AM wow that's a big change from east to just do when you're honoree. Yeah app I don't really buy many things on when I'm on the radio some of something catches my eye when I get an email. You know on my work email but I have a system I only do my shopping like mine shopping. Web sites in south and I only sign up with my name iCloud account not my work account. So when I'm sitting at work my name. The the shopping won't pop up on my screen so I had to physically go to my phone and then I'm like what I wanna do that because I'm busy like pretending to work. Well and you don't let them batteries Angela so that keeps my battery never did. I now or never ever. I carrier charger with me everywhere and I have two of those portable chargers in my purse because it's really big fear of mine to be about to get America. Eight front court that sometimes I'd get my court and a LA it's his but when I do you it's because my battery is probably on like 60%. It is my batteries and think deep respect and I start freaking out that is. Equivalent to my grandmother and gasoline. Gas tank gets half she starts to lose it yeah you never know when you're gonna have not be able to get gas only where I Delhi and yet get gas that's. Sometimes but that's about like am always afraid that someone's about to murder me and what if I don't have a battery public. Why do the SL less on the side of must hate. I acts yet know I have. I stopped working. Around Trader Joe's and I don't like absent mindedly Clinton side I got. And starts going to eat. Like that all emergency economic. Oh my would if you have the cops commit Trader Joe's. Hopefully it helped load the line in the back. So hate getting I talked to some friends Jeff who have not allowed to name is a weird about it. Like this she drinks a lot around. Play now that I've treatments you treatment margaritas there were two for one night. Why don't I ever again and by the anti drinking act pick the kids at my. And it's. I don't play so speaking out of the kids my son locks and these daily weekly and it yes and we're about ready to wrap it up and finish in the other and a kind of look back. He's not just drop my marker Rita. It's my basically I was like well you may be talents and having your at a slow motion like death. One way so I think. You shrink. They've seen lately knows mommy is drinks are not so yeah very great yeah. And the quest by friends now are die like I can't believe that just app. Just make tiger yet and I actually he had he and moody also noticed how much lower mindless. The one next to me and what did he just shut the whole Margarita and address at. I. So he just had a step and I was like buddy did you really drinking and he was like yeah out. He doesn't stop I was water Frist was the main screen. Eight and ailing big cup come my body fat that he's he's five and say he's like. So what did it taste good like nervous in half and he's like. Well why did you read that does that taste good idea so. Thank god that I have a good answer that either I'm like no not really but then if you ask me that why you drink it because you guys are currently eating waiting go to our. Say you say it because it's like well it's good to me it's like when Mehdi discovered coax. And when clearly discovered coax both of them had very different reaction to Coke's well as well medical liked. Relative bury it isn't ready yet she didn't like it. Close we loved it and so now Blake she always wants Coke but Matty is like now. To show how despray I'll take as my daughter suffers water. Drink water she refers water but if there's a poke around India she'd have a lot of immediate fix like. There are tons of Andy that's done. Homer I got so. So we've read that play date didn't tell you this we were at that plated on the front mailing pretended to be awesome mom to get there. Yep but you know. After the two. You know discovered that if you are all like with your mom friends and you're all sitting around you. Cleanly get trashed. Because your kids are all gonna play with each other so nobody has to watch anybody. Great. Also knows. What I'm just fell one time my kid you can almost sounds. Which by the way to consumables Canon out I'm do you what do about to be by. And that I was not on watch said they Stevie had them over there just where anyone wondering. T but does not play around with fools out but. I discovered in daylight when the kids out playing totally ignore them and their fine yet isn't. The mountains. It's so much fun. So yeah I needed that. A well you're welcome to join us on any given day yeah two point. The point where I'm texting with people later and it likely you know the stuff we were talking about on Saturday Hough. I you may need to go back in check tax hello OK until Beth and she plans I made apparently yeah. I've done that whenever I get Tex Serb whenever would have taken my transit down. My sleepy medicine yeah yeah how we have. The exact quote from Fred Fred Fred yeah it is not the moms that day he said. Me. Out. This is not that funny in his backpack that was hilarious cold I can give you a trend down text. I was in Iraq text thing about it now I've got to get through my STD testing that I sent my friend. Again. You and it. Sell. Hit my friend says sense of my other friend and I were not drinking together this weekend or moms you know it. And he says she's just how hard are you. Beach where it's business and on the weekends and she lies apps Har. And I replied what she sent. I mean. I don't by the way I'm not the only bad parent house. Bad dad came home late last night at least the kids and they can do and they get themselves ready get the car and I have school whenever. So we wanted to surprise him with treats we got a surprise animals. 88 million they like tiny catch them all gap basically it's like a little light plastics are coldly opened up his little tiny cheap stuff in yeah I think so they really like someone we got them before they ask that begins he's like Armageddon. Like three bucks each so you know whenever. But he brings them home and it caused mass chaos this morning why didn't he only did he get one more and other key dot each of them one bit they are surprises X ray when I was on dial. And she's had. I don't want that wine. And I highly literally can sometimes you light tickets yeah that's a re air on whatever it is whatever he had. Unlike all of this when you re here and showed the symbol emotionally where is this as one. OKY. And and and that my something that he did little. So today. The shorter version of this story is that by the end of the morning we're physically holding her down don't worry that. It's super hero in schools and shot out and be thrilled that I just got thirty dollar costs still that I. So. That she had a superhero passed him too didn't she. No chance to shirt. And and she was like there can he got two pieces to note in his shirt. And Ali sugar are fine. So. Our new custom. I got ready to cross W Brees is gonna jump on it and excited. So we physically strapped her down gently she's not red mark Zoller luckily got out that she's screaming young asked. It is permission to talk to me mom. And then I can make commission right I was trying to actually get provision. I don't need permission that might. K how I should talk to. Italy Saturdays and see that you just beat them. Did I did almost. I out this morning and I was yeah tears like. If you don't get dressed right now idols. You know oh. Mine is like really are over the line and I don't like to speak at eight there yes. Because I'm a bad mom in me I give them every evening walkway not like I discipline them yes. Snow and yes so. I don't know how she finally I finally just gave it to her demands of not speaking dealer and accent but it's not there yet we really just. You're not supposed to. Give toys in the morning in. That's what I call that after we really for school after dropped off a links is that it may. Not so tough on the verge of freaking out right now and it was elected doctor this morning and technical term. You blood pressure with like through the roof and then. And then. And like when you got it checked in it was kind of normally like that it shocked. I think it was only. In light and not call the emergency room kinda so funny how does an exit at the URO. God so I went to the doctor earlier this week to gynecologist again Madrid's La that. How. Dare guess I agree they're great and so but in the waiting room. I heard. Friend and someone behind the owner I guess played one of the people in the background or whatever like in that in the back. And so you know that always like it's been just really you're really here to hold on and get out now okay. Hey Lenny. This isn't. I. Speak each picked out were Europe we're recording a pot. Tell she's interacting vagina store anti that was in the middle of talking about it Regina but no. I would question feat that's. OK she's giving me feedback about my radio hello gun. Up OK I she'd like more talk less news and blue on the at workstation yes. The. I love that I love the suggestions thanking. Okay I. She said speaking as the very specific audience as my best friend more mile. Development that's odd and I institute Ian thanks in current. Have a guy and I finally data it's like they're like Steve hi. And so minority like you know I'm going in there and couldn't see your face or hear your voice of his adjustment of no I know it wasn't looking I had gotten back yet my pants are still a lot kid this is it do they better they better story. I just talking like. None no hockey I think not pants in the steps and yeah. Packs to. Know although I do think that man it has quite memorable. You know. Well. I got nervous as I'm going to the back and still super nervous and like oh my god. They all know me here and I'm about to like get naked bottom down at this. To my. You know. Like everybody knowing who I am when their got a look at like match. Just I guess it depends on days. Think about cracks. And like manage that beautiful piece of work done that I liked PO I will show every lie every. I. Every time they on the radio now when they hear you thinking until their ranks you know what. Her beautiful. Oh. That's so wonderful. I wanna be went. Whenever I'm introduced for them buying someone a say in this this teapot from B 97 and she is one beautiful vagina. Well I will from now on. What I salute with. I you know let. This is that that. That these kids are almost public schools have for you this summer can't teach Orton next year's teacher yeah this is how we should introduce you know it's a peace out yeah. Like this so and so I MT bottom on the radio and I've got a beautiful vagina. Amy thanks to having saint Pete is up. You know many schoolteacher. Not ideal but and Earl bearing Obama met completely shipped out because. The beginning of this year and Matty. A brand new teacher and sailing brand spanking their right out of diapers teacher pay and and they legit 22 years old and very lovely ladies now. And so with the beginning of the year like all the parents were in the Arab man he all of these other. Well and it. And so I am at the beginning of the year were all sitting there or whatever and she's going over office staff and of course like it to the meeting late. And that working outside apparently I'm running and and I'm like breathing all out of control is have been running up the steps and stuff and I sit down and make all kinds of noise. And then I am too loud because I'm asking the other parents like blood. We talking about how you know and so at the end of it. Am I'm meter and I'm like you know global black and so then I said listen. I need a lot of reminders. Because teachers understood that you know. Like I blank. They would send me email reminders all the time because they didn't like them for ball one time you throw flier and a Fullerton and don't forget Thursday is yeah. This day. You want every day yeah it does it make the everyday it's got to be like spaced out so that I don't get annoyed with that. Good. Reminding me it is. Me. And area of real mom is so good and you know I should be out. Oh I'm not an actor are you wait either remote. There's it's hits and the root Marvin didn't know it. See they say you on the paperwork that sense like. You wanna be there mom Mollie and I checked the third down box which is like OK you know worst case you need to back up help for something ami. But in none of the others. And then I'm getting on these emails from the group mom's stuff like that mom coordinator when they just put you wanna can that happen thinking of just on the list of talking to another mom actually works at the school she's in my class. She is like never hear her mom I have no idea who are. I'm like I don't mean either. As and I like I gotta get those are mommy tells I would know it about this just like yeah ghettos and she works at the school and I'm like how well Paul we may. That's it. My god is not at the end of march it is gonna be brought on Sunday and you don't know what you're the group mom not. Really don't think I am I'm like pretty sure someone told me it was Carter some years mom has. Kicked out. And it I don't and I don't want her cards and mom like I immediately told what to deal I don't know but I'd like I did not know until we back. So. You know what I got. Confused once because you had a friend whose daughter also went too many school. And so she and yet what's at camp so show you like. Was uber rich and on every single one of the yesterday via on all of the committee then you know controlled all the things yet. And so and she would just put my name on stuff. I like you're gonna on here wanna know. Like in hopes that I would I think and like if I got enough for the email sometimes I would think she knew you know because it's like I would get emails for everything in every now and I would pay attention and like. It so she lake. I don't lie on you know they like Sammy at think Timmy would just like you know just ticks. Send email and she might you know come up for air and be like. That you know and so. Still one day I was getting like all kinds of emails from room mom stuff like. Like for the room mom much. And it started freaking me out because it was like a situation like this where it was me close to the end of the towns like. I'll do it. Freaking out so bad and then it turns out one of my friends actually mom she's like no dummy I. Like I. Because I hadn't noticed that she been doing and she doing her mom duties. Which was I may worsen I would know because she had been fanning out email and I'll gotten up about lake. Different things would dominating now that like I hope that Matty. In the same home room with her kid every year. It because she actually knows that I'm a (%expletive) show and she reminds me about everything on the hunt it's my personal tracker she's amazing. And and that's a good back to when we were talking to the teacher because I told the teacher I was like hey. Look I'm a mess so you have to remind me all the time of things okay and to the teacher was just kind of looking at me like I aimed totally scared of you is that we didn't. No my credit steps up and she does is sorry she's a complete (%expletive) show will will do it. Tell us well late 150 knots between now and sent vagina. I just rated PG. No seat and it's freaking out all change now the low three listened to them. Well there's you know it does Andre get every weekend. Yeah yeah. True or drinking. I wouldn't. Do for Saturday. I. Run me over there I hadn't thought they would we rather play day we did she might as it is something that I forgot about she's fun. Are you probably trashed. There and I was asking so what do we do it next weekend and Remy was like. I. You would any app where she wants to prepare for Easter so she's probably having everybody over. She's selfish. I might I need a backyard with no pool for my kids that play and I can ignore them we're all Catholics were supposed to drink during Easter weekend and rank. That's how would knows. I think we should and this is this what is longer than anyone we've ever done well and week seven. That's days and everyone should know that it is a masterpiece. Idling for habitat. And it she is so thankful and appreciative of all of your loved. Tell us what we can listen the nappy you're on the radios again. And that three on magic went along and AM to 2 PM and it just as it won't but it's not a good guy. Oh. Bad I don't know 1000 here let's have worked with us again thank god Eric and I might be 97 with speedy where the afternoon it felt bad. And so remember if you wait. This and he thought I would not making it that he really just recently came out. Birdied the if you think we're doing it wrong. Yeah not to deny. So not what we said I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna go back and listen to the first great yeah. And write it out.